A Friend Has Passed...

Brian sent me word that the Coronet Theater in San Francisco is closing. They're putting up a housing center for seniors, and as much as I think that's awesome for the old folks, having lived in that city for seven long years, I know there are plenty of other real estate opportunities for such a facility. The problem was, the theater was the largest single screen in the States, seating 1,300 and not enough people showed. It was losing money, so they sold it. Good work, City of San Francisco. Your preservation efforts went out the window of a live/work loft. Thanks for the memories, Coronet. It was great to see Star Wars there, Exorcist, and many others. You will be missed.

Fuck you , Hallmark.

Last Christmas, I watched a CBS Hallmark movie about a pair of red shoes a little girl wanted to give her dying mother. I appreciate the sentiment, but this was the biggest waste of time. We could have spent that time talking or even sleeping. The most current Hallmark attraction, however, is worthy of your time and attention.



I have a special relationship with Hallmark films or Afterschool Specials of this type. My Mom would always make my brother and I watch a TV movie if it was about teen suicide or drug use or running away or safe sex. She's say, "Boys, there is a program that I feel is important for you to watch tonight." This was the way we were exposed the deeper issues, by enduring an hour long special presentation.

Once, we watched one that was about a teen couple that had a baby while they were still in high school. At the end, my Mom said, "You see, boys, it's very important to practice safe sex." It was one of the few times we had a "sex chat." Usually, we avoided the topic altogether. When we did finally talk about it, it was in public.

I had graduated high school and was preparing for my first semester in college, so my Mom took me to CostCo to buy some supplies. After loading up the cart with Goldfish crackers and Top Ramen, my Mom decided to enter into our first frank and adult conversation about sex. "Do you want to get some condoms?" she asked, "They sell them here."

I went immediately red. "N-no," I stammered, "I'll take care of that."

"I just want you to be safe. It's important. We might as well get them while we're here."

It was tempting. I'd be supplied for a good while, a wholesale tub of rubbers. But then, I realized my Mom was attempting the best safe sex of all. By buying me condoms, I'd think about her every time I went for one, completely ruining any sexual urge I'd previously had. I declined and got Kool-Aid instead.

I just saw the cover of the new TimeOut Chicago with Defiant Thomas Brothers. I'm so happy for those dudes, whom I don't really know except I did a shitty sketch show at Second City with Seth when I first moved to town, but I can't help feeling that if we had only kept our shit together, it would have been Good Time Hour doing just as well. That is a great regret for me.

Not too sure about this Amsterdam thing anymore. The longer it takes for me to get "the call", the less confident I am about it. I spent February and March living in a dreamworld, wherein I would be living in Europe, performing improv and sketch to Dutch people and tourists. I tried not to let too many people know about it, but word gets around and most people ask me, "When are you going to Boom?", and I have to be all, "Ah, I don't know yet." It'll suck to have to tell people I'm not going at all.

But I will be moving. That much I'm sure of. I think I am done here in Chicago. Time to go. I'm trying to think of what would keep me here, and besides continuing to do what I've done for the past couple years, I'm a little stumped. So, off I go. Europe or LA, here I come.

I took two "snow days" this week, and spent one of them playing XBOX until my eyes crossed. What a life. I have no patience for my job anymore. The dangling carrot that is Amsterdam has me already giving up on work (I need a new job anyway), and I basically come in to check email and hunt through the Internet.