Trains, Ribs and Nativity

For a month, Erica's Mom has been telling Erica that "we have to take Ryan to see the trains." She was obsessed with it and mentioned it at every phone call leading up to our arrival in Indiana. Erica could not tell me what exactly she meant, but it didn't stop me from getting excited to see whatever these trains.

Tonight, we drove to downtown Cincinnati with Erica's parents and grandparents to the Duke Energy building to see the train display that Linda said has been there since she was a girl, a real Cincinnati institution. And looking at the display, it did seem to have an older aesthetic.


Mammy!


Afterwards we out to Montgomery Inn to eat ribs and more ribs. We then went to an outdoor nativity scene with live sheep and a cow that is right outside the Conservatory. In fact, right by the street. It shocked me that this nativity was left out in the open at night, no security, for ANYONE to fuck with. In no city I have ever lived in would this have lasted for longer than one hour. The cow would end up with a dress on, the sheep would be died black, baby Jesus would be gone, HISTORY, until it ended up somewhere it where it would make the front page of the news, like a gay bar or the ivy at Wrigley Field. I'm calling you out, pranksters of Cincinnati!

Later, I was granted a visit to Erica's grandparents house. Her grandfather, put me in charge of figuring out how his new "fireplace display" DVD worked on his TV. He LOVED this DVD, and talked about it as if it was dipped in gold. He wanted to see all the fireplace choices, and the different music options.

Erica was busy reading an essay her cousin had written about her grandfather. The closing quote reminded me again of the train display: "If I had to paint a picture of my life, it would be full of fun and bright colors--no blacks."

A Picture every 15 seconds

Our second trip to Marina Cay, we decided to take a photo near the red phone booth where a sign said "We take a picture every 15 seconds". John, Erica and I posed like jerks for 5 minutes, thinking we would have a variety of photos to choose from, until guys on a boat nearby started talking to us, wondering what we were doing. The next day, Erica found our only photo online.

Hello Puerto Vallarta, my old friend.

Back again in PV. Took the new kids over to Krystal. We played volleyball against Hugo, Darren, Ruth and her husband Nicholas--USA vs. Canada--with our team involving Fred, Erica, myself, and a couple crew members from a Princess ship who were equally great and horrible at volleyball. We were winning for a while until a Krystal employee came over to officiate with what she called "Mexican Rules". Here's how Mexican rules work: there are no rules. Canada was victorious. USA took game 2, but that game was pure Mexican rules so it was hard to feel the thrill of pool volleyball victory. So we retreated to more cervezas and guacamole.

Today is also the beginning of the Assassination Game, a crew game that all of us joined in on. We were told to keep the names of our victims to ourselves, and while Erica and I did confess, Katie kept mum.

I got Joe, who was not really into playing anyway, so it was a lackluster event when I “stabbed” him with a sticky note when he came downstairs to get the Pearlbusters key from me.

Erica has someone we don’t know, and therefore has no idea how she’s going to pull this off. She’s pretty pissed because she’s really into playing this game.

Katie revealed hers anyway. As Dominic, one of the gym instructors, was walking down the hall, Katie ran after him. He ducked and went towards her and got away. Erica was busy watching the hallway, as one of the spa girls has been stalking her in the hallways and waiting for Katie to come out of her room.

Katie got a second chance after dinner, even trapping him near some crew rooms with nowhere to go, but he still managed to escape. He ran down the hallway and Katie gave chase, flip-flopping after him with her sticky-note dagger. A security officer walked out of into the hallway to see what the noise was about. He saw us.

“Assassination?” he said with his Nepalese accent.

“Yes. In Progress.” We replied.

He smiled and went back into the office.

The game is on.

Please Meet Your Friends in the Hydro Pool Area

As company manager, I am privy to emails that are sent internally in NCL. Most are boring and perfunctory. Some aren’t.

Good Morning,

We hope that all of you who participate in using the Spa Thermal Suites each evening are enjoying this experience. However, we do need to remind everyone that this is a special privilege and that certain rules should be followed.

All participants are reminded that the Female area is for FEMALE Crew ONLY and Likewise the Male Area is for MALES ONLY! The Unisex area (Where the Hydro Therapy Pool is) is the place to meet your friends.!!

Kindly respect this rule and Ensure your departments are made aware of this.

Thank You.

Pretty naughty, Pearl crew.

Lower Dewey Lake hike

Met up with the Star cast and hiked to Lower Dewey Lake. Erica is not feeling well, so she did not last long. But she gave it quite an effort.

That night, we went out to Bar City, where we sat right by a older, pony-tailed passenger who was passed out and sleeping. At one point, a woman came up and looked at the man and said: "That's my ex-husband," and walked off. We laughed, wondering if he was indeed her ex, or just an example of what her ex-husband was like.

Later, she came back, took a picture of him, shook her head disapprovingly, and left again, as quickly as before.

This should clear things up.

Please read the sign:

Port Hole View #1

On the Star, we did not have any windows. The room was pitch dark, which made sleeping all day real easy, since you never knew what time it was outside. I used to leave the ShipCam channel on the TV at night, so I had some kind of "window", but Erica hated having it on when we tried to go to sleep, so that didn't last.

On the Pearl, we have a port hole. and I love it. It adds a sense of normality that I am loving. So I am starting a photo series from the porthole, starting here with Glacier Bay.

Bullwinkle's

My good friend Jeff Hedges is from Juneau and just happens to be in town this week. Amazing. First week in and we already got to see someone from home. I would have killed to see someone from home on the Star.

Jeff was on my very first improv team in Chicago and is a hell of a funny guy. We could only meet up for a few hours, so Jeff fulfilled our request for a local haunt of his and took us to Bullwinkle’s, the pizza place he always went to in high school after football games to enjoy pitchers of Alaskan Amber and BBQ Chicken pizza.

He told me that playing high school football in Alaska often meant flying with the team to different towns and staying overnight with players from the opposing teams.

“Man, I bet it’s pretty weird when you lose,” I said.

“Actually it’s more awkward when you win.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, because when you win you then have to go back and hang at some guy’s house, and be like, ‘So what’s for dinner?’ And you’ve won the game that night, so yeah, it’s pretty awkward.”

Deja Vu.

It’s weird to be somewhere new that feels like a place you’ve been. The Pearl is a newer ship, so while it’s similar to the Star there are differences. Yet, it’s like moving into a new apartment that is almost identical to the old one, so you kinda know where everything is without having to explore the ship much. It’s very surreal.

It was a tiring day, and Erica and I didn’t get to fully move into our room until evening. After an our of putting things away, we got a knock on our door. It turned out to be Hugo, our new neighbor, whose business card on his door says “aerialist” beneath his name.

We introduced ourselves, exchanged a few pleasantries, and then he got to business, French-Canadian-style: “Could you please keep it down. You are slamming a lot of doors.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize we were making noise.”

“Yes, well, it has been an hour, so you know, it is very annoying?”

"Right. No problem."

Then he did a dance that Matt Craig, Laurel, Ed and I all did back when we were working on an improv group called Falderal.

As quickly as he did the dance, he said:"I was supposed to do this dance, yes?" Then, he left.

I laughed out loud.

Honeymoon Begins

Honeymoon mobile photo
Originally uploaded by talfulano

We arrive in Maui to the Napili Surf and find our room to be more than we bargained for. My parents were here earlier in the year, and I think they told them that we would be here for our Honeymoon, because our view is awesome. We couldn't be happier.

The TV Saga

Somehow, Nick brought a TV on the ship. A big, 20-inch, VCR/DVD combo. We’re not sure why he thought it was a good idea, and I think he got it to transfer some of his videotaped stand up performances to tape. It’s anyone’s guess, really. Nick kept his valuables pretty simple getting on the ship, bringing only a small amount of clothes, his laptop, making the printer he brought in his suitcase the only surprising artifact, until he bought the big TV and a boom box to add to his tiny room.

Everyone asks Nick what he's going to do with this TV. It's not a common thing to bring on a ship, but neither is a printer. I'm curious too, but since I bring over my XBOX and play it on Nick's TV, I'm just trying to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Nick did try to sell it. He put up signs on Deck 4 in the crew area today, but no one responded. Nick seemed surprised, as if there were crew members praying that they could fill their room, one they share already with anywhere from 3 to 5 other people, with a big TV. Of course, even if someone did want the TV, they couldn't call from their room in the crew area to Nick's room in the passenger area, so it was a difficult proposition to give the crew only a day to fulfill.

Nick called me late tonight, telling me the time had come. He was going to drag he TV up to the gym and weigh it so he could relay the weight to the post office and send this monstrosity home. I followed along, taking pictures. I didn’t help him with the 52-pounder, I just snapped away, laughing at the struggle.

Cabo Dive

Shawn, John and I went diving in Cabo with some of the JARs we took classes with: Cecelia, Greg and Kay. Cabo is a cool place to dive because the bottom is only about 20 feet deep but then drops off thousands of feet. Looking down the slope is like looking into the night sky without stars. Not the best visibility this day, but the guy at Cabo Deep Blue treated us well and we had a great time.

Kay and I

The people you meet!

We meet a lot of cool people on the ship. Our show is pretty well received and it’s great to receive such awesome feedback. Two cruises ago, a guy came to our lecture and dropped some very nice compliments my way and said that he had taken some improv class with Robin Williams and John Ritter. I recognized him from somewhere, but I couldn’t remember where, and I didn’t want to bother him about it on his vacation.

Later on in the cruise, he comes up to me in the gym to tell me the improv teacher’s name, and I couldn’t resist anymore so I asked where I knew him from. “CHiPs,” he says. He played the goofy cop on the show. I told how much I dug that show as a kid. I wanted to be a cop, for God’s sake. Hilarious. What a nice guy, too. I met his wife, his daughter, all very cool.

Tonight, this very nice guy comes up talks about the show, how fun it is to travel, and he says: “Now I’m a little older than you guys, but long ago, I got a letter from a guy named Lyndon Johnson so I got to travel for a couple years. Have you heard of a guy called chay gwaveera?”

Yes, we replied.

“Well, he’s dead now. I can tell you, he is definitely dead. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Once that sank in, he followed by saying, “You know, today we walked around Acapulco and saw a lot of poverty. It’s a shame. And it’s a shame that the world can’t live together more peacefully.”

I couldn’t help but feel he was right. I mean, this guy had done his part, he’d killed Che Guavara.

Feliz Cumpleanos.

Every time we’re in Zihuatenejo, we go to the same restaurant for lunch, what we call “Monkey’s.” Monkey, or Chango, is our usual waiter, and it’s not our nickname. He got his moniker from climbing palm trees and grabbing coconuts at night. He calls his two kids Money 1 and Monkey 2. Every week, we go see him and have some lunch. “Porque no?” he’ll often say after you order. When he sees us coming up the path, he’ll hide behind a tree or a plant and try to scare us. It’s becoming a bit of a friendship.

Today when we came for lunch, he said he had something for us. He gave us all baby blue bags, the cover a little boy made out of foam pieces. Inside the bags was an assortment of Mexican candies and hot sauce packets. They were from Monkey 2’s birthday just a few days before, and the party Monkey had excitedly talked to us about the week before. I was really touched by the whole thing.

The birth of a classic bit.

Last day of scuba classes today in the busy ocean waters of Los Arcos. The current slapped us around all day, and the water was freezing. Our Dive Master Rick took us over near the arches that give the site its name and we could feel the warm water rush towards us in blurry waves, like those you can see on the horizon on warm days.

At the end of the day, he came up to all of us a couple times, and said goodbye.

“Great diving with you, George.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Greg.”

“John, good dive today.”

“Ryan, it was a pleasure.”

Then he came up to Shawn and shook his hand and said: “Shawn.” And moved on.

He did this twice.

We laughed and repeated different variations of this transaction all the way back to the ship.

Feeling it.

This last cruise was the first one where I think we all suffered from being homesick. Maybe it’s the holiday season, but we all started to talk a bit more about home. Being here until May is starting to look like a long time on this ship.

Finished our first sea dive at Los Arcos, and it was amazing. The first time going underwater was a little nerve-wracking, but the second one, done on your own with your dive buddy, was really easy and we took an amazing dive through reefs, following a manta ray. There were moments that I wanted to yell out in excitement it was so great. My dependence on air prevented me. Then they drove us in the motor boat back to the pier, and it was a great ride back. Chef George suggested he drive us right up to where the tender boats drop us off, but one of our crew said that the Mexican government wouldn’t let us on the ship without going through security. That would have been great, though.

And knowing is half the battle.

Back in Los Angeles. Mary’s been sick for a couple cruises, throwing up all the time so we had to change our Stardust show at the last minute because she was too sick to do it. Since she’s in so many scenes in one way or another, we had to change about 90% of the show, mostly with other scenes sent to us by Second City. We included Gump, a scene I have seen and really liked, but I was not up to the job. At one point, in each performance, I talked the audience out of the scene. I’m still not sure how I did it, though I know I did it in both, and it bummed me out.

Otherwise, the shows went well, and it was kind of fun for the group of us to come up with a new show. Strength in adversity and all that.

We started scuba classes in Puerto Vallarta, which entailed us sitting in uncomfortable chairs in a hot room watching videos for hours. John and I giggled in the back of the small room, like two teenagers with a substitute in class mocking the cheesy video segments intended to be “funny”. Shawn slept. He woke up at the tail end of each video section to clap and congratulate everyone for finishing.

Change is good.

It’s still hard to believe that, 2 months ago, I was living in Amsterdam, performing Boom shows and working on sets for the MySpace show. It’s surreal. Tonight I sat in the crew Jacuzzi in Acapulco Bay, a light rain falling on my shoulders.

The month in Chicago was great, but not enough time to develop any kind of rhythm. My hope was that I would have plenty of time to hang out with Erica and friends and get to do some shows, all of which I did, but not quite at the frequency I was hoping for. I guess, everyone also had their own lives which didn’t fit conveniently into my little plan. Still, I was glad to be back and to see my friends.

The reason I left was twofold. Erica, having been treated poorly by Boom in general, at one time being told that “no one was better at babysitting” than her by Pep, wanted to go home since she felt she was never going to be hired. If she didn’t, we’d have to continue to send her back to the States every 3 months, as she would not be granted the same visa as I was since she was unofficially working for Boom.

That was one reason. The other was my contract. From the very beginning of my tenure at Boom, it was clear that I was not very important to the Producers. Ryan Archibald had told me that I would not be replacing him or Jim, the two departing actors, but Tim’s role in the ensemble, that of the reliable, mature performer, whom they wouldn’t have to think about or even treat well if they didn’t want to. I don’t think I was ever able to swallow that latter half of the situation. Laurel and I were treated like we had arrived to Amsterdam on the special bus, and I resented it. Laurel had a more solid beef than me, as they treated women so much worse than men. Eventually, I would even graduate to being a performer they wouldn’t have to worry about, but only due to my acquiescence to Boom’s style. Laurel stuck to her guns, got frustrated, and left. I stayed, not wanting to break my contract, and forever hopeful that the situation would improve. It didn’t.

In late April, I found out that Lauren and Dan had met with Pep to discuss a second contract, with both of them signing for another. Our contracts were up in August, so these discussions were pretty early, and I thought I might get the same treatment. Pep finally talked with me in early May, and his waiting to talk to me didn’t sit well. With our group being as small as it is, there’s no way to keep much secret, and I felt that Dan and Lauren and I were equals. Setting his priorities as he did, I felt Pep had decided otherwise.

It could be argued that I was overreacting. I knew how people had been screwed by Boom in their contracts. It wasn’t exactly new to boom’s history. Tarik was told that he was on probation for six months before Pep and Andrew would sign his second contract. Tim had been told that he had another contract, but it took months for it to arrive. I think this only made me angrier. Why would they treat their talent like that? Why did some get preference, while others just had to accept poor treatment that Pep and Andrew wouldn’t dream of placing on their favorites?

So we met with Pep in early May, Erica and I, and we started the discussion. Pep said we’d meet again on May 10th. That day came and went without Pep contacting me to meet as he had scheduled. Then another week went by. And another. I didn’t say anything to Pep about his lack of follow-through on the meeting, but was glad that he had granted Erica and I to go on vacation in June. As the weeks went by without Pep contacting me, my fellow cast members and Boom employees asking me if I was staying as well, I decided to contact Second City. With Pep forgetting our second meeting, he had made a decision, consciously or unconsciously: I was not a priority.

So I met with Beth and I was offered a ship. I accepted a ship leaving in November, but gambled when I told Beth I would prefer the one leaving in September. Erica stayed behind in the States. If I didn’t get the ship, Erica and I were looking at more separation. If I did get it, we wouldn’t. I told everyone that Erica had to stay behind in the States to attend to family concerns but would becoming back, and we waited for Beth.

Brendan was still in town to perform his and Pep’s World Cup show, and he saw one of my first shows back from vacation. Brendan was great to me, and one night at the Waterhole, he told me I should stick around, that Boom needed me, that they needed someone to call them on their bullshit. It was the first time I had felt validated for doing so, but it was too late. I was leaving. Pep contacted me immediately after that, but Beth had already emailed me. The September ship was mine. I sat down with him and he told me that they really wanted me around, and I told him that I had another job. It felt…really, really good.

Now I live on a cruise ship. Every week I walk around Mexico. I get to perform shows for Second City. I swim in the ocean, I drink margaritas on the beach, I make fun of our Cruise Director, I see other performers do their shows, I do laundry in the crew facilities, and I work out in the gym. That’s my life. And I love it.

Finally...

Five years ago, I moved to Chicago to work for Second City thinking it would take me only one year and I’d be working there. I was young, cocky and stupid. I saw one TourCo show the weekend I went to look for apartments and thought: “I know I can do this.” I didn’t know anything.

5 years, 4 months, and Amsterdam later, I finally did my first Second City show. To a huge theater with more people than I ever performed for at Boom. I am elated. I know it's not TourCo, and I'm just on a ship, but I'll take it.

Welcome...home?

So, it's good to be back in Chicago. People have been pretty cool, and people have been pretty excited to see me. Things are the same and also different. Since I'm only here for a month, it's slightly weird, as if peeps are preparing for me to leave again and not trying to get too close. And you basically are still starting over in a town that you knew but you left. I only wanted a couple things to be the same, but of course they weren't. That's how it goes.

The other thing is that I feel like I'm playing a little bit of catch up. Doing Harolds is still pretty different from playing InnerSong to end Act One and then finding your prop-up for Sitcom. It's a mind-set change as well, because it's not like I was some super established improvisor before I left. All I really had to my name was the Good Time Hour, and possibly Otis, but we were never a team Charna liked. Since I've been back, several people have talked to me about GTH, so that sort of cements why I feel like that. Plus, performing here is different in tone. Boom was entirely about getting a laugh. Chicago is different. You're allowed more room for the scenes to breathe, and acting is much more neccesary. It'll take a little adjustment, just like Boom took months for me to get used to before I was performing at the level I felt was at least decent.

Now that I'm back, I really wish we had done a Harold while I was at boom. We never did as the perception was that it would NOT work, and I agreed with that, but now I wish that I hadn't. It would have been a blast and had confused the audience in such a great way that I would have loved it.